My first memories are from when I was a very young girl. Maybe 2 or 3 years old. I could do without diapers at a very young age (my parents told me). What my parents did not know (I believe they never found out) is that I secretly loved to pee on the carpet floor in my childhood bedroom. I can not guarantee that these first memories are completely accurate, because these are such old memories that I am not sure if maybe fantasy might have changed the thoughts that I have of how things truly happened to me. But I will try to describe what I remember as honest as I can.

The first memory that I have of being interested in pee, is a memory of me in the bathtub, playing with a tiny pink dollcup. I was wondering what pee would taste like and I was old enough to know that it would be very naughty to try tasting it. The thought of how naughty it would be, gave me an exiting feeling and that made me want to try it even more. I must have been very young, because my mother was still with me while I was taking a bath. I am not totally sure, but I think I remember how the thought came up in my mind for the first time, when my mother left me alone for a second to go get a towel or something and I wanted to try it then, but I was too afraid that my mother might come back and catch me in the act, so I did not. After that the thought did not leave my head anymore and the next chance that I got, I peed into the small pink cup and put it to my mouth. It smelled quite strongly and because of that, I was a bit afraid to taste it. I tried just a very very very little bit. So little, that I did not know if I really had tasted it after that. So I had to try again. I really did not like the strange salty taste and I had a very guilty feeling after I had done this, but the naughtyness and secrecy of doing it also made me want to try again. It felt brave and proud in a strange kind of way when I one time drank the entire cup. I think every child is curious about the taste of pee at some age and I do not think that trying tasting it was really abnormal, but the way it felt for me and how I still remember it, trying to catch my pee with the cup and not liking the taste, but still wanting to taste more of it, I think that was really something special. To me it feels like my pee fetish is something that I have been born with and this was the first sign of it.

Around the same time, I liked to pee on the floor in my room instead of in the toilet. This was different then the drinking. This was not out of curiosity. It was just because it felt so nice to see the pee create a stain on the carpet, where people were not supposed to pee on. I also liked the feeling of doing something that I was not allowed to, but it was much more than that. I knew how dangerous it was and how my mother probably would notice the smell and find out some day. I really did not want that to happen, but I just could not help myself. It just felt so nice that I had to do it every once in a while. I used a spot in the corner of my room. The carpet in my room was dark blue. You could not see the pee on it after it had dried and the wet pee you would only see if you were looking for it. Of course I felt afraid that my parents would discover my secret, but since they did not seem to notice anything I dared to pee more and more every time. Maybe I subconsciously wanted my parents to find out and just wanted to get more attention in my own kind of shy way (I did lack a bit of attention from my parents for sure), but it did not and does not feel to me like that and I also do not like to think of it in that way. That would make my fetish some kind of a “wrong” reaction to my childhood circumstances instead of a nice love for pee that I have gotten as a present when I was born. Anyways, I started to pee more and more. I remember how I had peed so much that when I felt hours (or maybe even a day) later, the stain was still wet. I also remember how I once peed in the middle of my room. Afterwards I felt so afraid someone might find out. I think that is also the reason I stopped doing this. As I was getting older I startet to realise that my pee pleasure was getting out of hand and could not/would not stay unnoticed if I went on like this. I really have no idea how old I was when I did pee on the floor of that room for pleasure for the last time. I do know that we got a vinyl floor when I was about eight years old, so it must have been before then. I think it was even before I was 4 years old, but thats just a feeling.

My first memory of peeing myself is a Kindergarden memory. It was a real accident and I felt very unconfortable about it. I was 5 years old and I had changed to another Kindergarden a short time before. I did not feel very well between the other kids in the classroom. It was a day we were alowed to bring our own toys and play with them. I remember how I had to cry and when the teacher asked me what was wrong, I said: “They do not let me play with my own doll”. The teacher was very nice and she said: “Would you not also feel a bit better if we would find you some other pants to ware?”. I remember how glad I felt that I did not have to say anything about my accident and that she was not mad or even surprised. I was very shy (insecure) as a child and this accident had happened because I had been too afraid to ask if I could go to the toilet. This insecurity stayed with me for a long time and I felt shy in every situation. So I never dared to ask if I could go to the toilet and even with my own parents during a long car-ride I was too shy to say that I needed to go. So I held my pee until we stopped for some other reason. I had a very trained bladder because of this and I was able to hold my pee for a very long time, but it was still hard sometimes and my bladder did hurt when I really needed to go, but the fear of asking was so big, that I rather stood that bit of pain. I also had some bladder infections, probably because I had been holding my pee for too long. These infections caused me to wet my pants on accident a couple of times more. But in these cases I did not feel so ashamed about it, because I knew that not feeling the need to go was caused by the infection and I could not help it. When I think about how much I have been holding my pee, I think the pee holding might even have caused concentration problems that I had as a kid (and still have). Holding my pee became a normal situation for me and I still do it all the time, just because I do not take the time to go to the toilet when I am busy with something. Then I keep forgetting about it until that happened so often, that I really can not hold it anymore or until I pee for the pleasure of it and maybe make a videoclip out of it. Wetting my pants is something I still like doing, but it is not the real fetish that I have, only part of it. I really love pee and wetting things that I am not supposed to wet or seeing people do that. I love it the most when the pee creates a nice stain and you can see it spreading and getting sucked into the object or floor or whatever is being peed on. Pants do suck up the pee very nice and it is very nice to feel the warm pee on my legs, but pants you can wash or throw away and thats why peeing on a carpet floor or some other place where the peestain will be permanent, turns me on even more. Although I am actually too decent to do this. (That is probably the cycle of why it turns me on so much)

This post is very personal and it is the first time I wrote all this down. I want to thank you for being interested and reading it. It is only the start of my fetish, so I have much more pee stories about when I was getting older. I might post more experiences here in the near future.

– Sinna